About Wendy

Wendy is a Registered Nurse by trade whose claim to travel fame is a 3,200 mile bike ride from the U.S West Coast to East Coast in 2006! She is an outdoor adventurist and a self confident introvert who is always willing to put up with Stephen's Crazy ideas. Wendy is the love of our life and the glue that holds the Pasquini Family together! Stephen and Wendy have been married for 13 years and have 2 children Layla (age 6.5) and Lucca (age 4)

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A Family Gap Year Christmas in Port Douglas Australia

It's hard to find Christmas Trees in the tropics.

Warning – bad Australian insiders joke coming:

“What is the last thing you want from Santa for Christmas in Port Douglas?”

A pair of Crocs!

Port Douglas for Christmas.

I have to say this was one of the most memorable and nicest Christmas’s.

It  was relaxing, enjoyable and low key.   I didn’t have to worry all month about what I was going to buy everyone and who was on the list.   I got to celebrate Christmas with my family and we even made it to Christmas Eve church service in downtown Cairns.

I feel burdened with to do lists and retail confusion most years.  I’ve been wanting to set aside all the gift giving for a long time and just focus on what matters most.

All that being said, we did do a one stop shopping at K-mart for gifts for the kids and for the kids to get in the mood of doing something for others.

Out of K-mart in an hour and a half and it was all done!

Layla wrapped the parent gifts and all were happy on Christmas morning.

We didn’t have a great kitchen to make Christmas cookies so Santa got a plate of crackers covered with Nutella on top (he must of liked it because they were all going in the morning).

Lucca fell asleep on the car ride home from snorkeling so Layla and I put out the reindeer food Lucca had made a few night before.  Oatmeal with sprinkles and Santa’s kangaroos where able to find us just fine.

St Monica’s Cathedral

After snorkeling we met a nice navy family from Guam.  Both were nurses traveling with 3 kids, they were on holiday.

We ran to the mall in Cairns for what is now known as “50 cent” ice cream but they had just closed.  Hungry Jacks was the last one open and we were able to get Stephen some food and the kids an ice cream bar.  The young man in front of us even gave us his ice cream bar because the one we did get came with Stephen’s meal,  the ice cream machine was all out and she wouldn’t sell us one individually.  The young man noticed our dilemma with two small kids and graciously gave us his.   I was so touched.  Of course he had a small brother and understood all too well that one ice cream cone between two kids just wouldn’t do.  We ran out of there just in time to catch two carols before mass started.

Layla was grumpy the whole time during Christmas mass sad to say.   The incense annoyed her,  she didn’t have a shiny new Christmas dress like all the other little girls,  she felt bad about her hair since we had just came from snorkeling and she was frustrated she couldn’t read the program enough to sing the carols.

In the end she controlled herself pretty well with a silent scowl planted on her face.  You could see the inner turmoil inside and she just couldn’t put on a happy face.

I decided to compliment her on her self control, since she did most of the pouting in silence.   My normal reaction would to tell her how rude and inappropriate she behaved, but she did control her grumpiness.

The kids wanted me to sit in the back with them so I squished myself between the two car seats and by doing this she bounced back on the car ride.

We enjoyed the hour drive back to Port Douglass with pleasant conversations and appreciated the night sky and all the beautiful stars.

Christmas Day

Lucca got a Spiderman motor cycle which he played with all day and a Teenage Mutton Ninja Turtle movie.  He loved it!

Layla got the watch she had been wanting, and the kids got fresh underwear, sunglasses, books, and a few new shirts for Lucca and new “jammies” for Layla.

Dad got shaving cream, a rain poncho, chocolate and a new T-shirt and lets not forget his introductory dive the day before.

I got a new hat,  hair clip, T-shirt, and chocolate.  Our stocking were our Santa Hats’s we’d picked up for free in Sydney and I bought a koala Christmas ornament to take home with us.

Twice in the pool today kept us busy and plenty of down time for the kids to play with “the babies”.

My turkey ended up turning out great.  After 4 hours of cooking time and a few adjustments with the foil baking pan,  I realized I had the temp set too low.

5 hours later though it was a great turkey complete with the best gravy I’ve made so far.   I thought it was way too salty but everyone enjoyed it.

Sadly, I failed on the stuffing and it turned into a soft mush.  Can’t mess up mashed potatoes, sparkling cider in champagne flutes.

Just missing the apple pie, pumpkin pie, and broccoli salad.  Also missing the extended family but it will probably be the only Christmas we’ll ever have with just the four of us.

Layla even said the thing she liked most about Christmas was giving to others, way more than receiving her gifts.  Instant hug and kiss!

So many wonderful things the kids said today,  I wish I had the time to write them down in the moment.  I love my kids with all my heart and I wish I can be a good mom to them.

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Port Stephens and Bay’s Holiday Park Australia

Where we stayed: Bay’s Holiday Park

Port Stephen’s and Anna Bay is such a great little find!

Thank goodness I didn’t lose the Family Holiday Park booklet I got back in NZ,  I haven’t seen one since.

We  still haven’t found a great web-sight or app that will show us all the parks in the area so we’re left guessing or just driving and hoping for the best.

We booked two nights originally and we added another two because it is so peaceful and now we’re looking to change plans again.

5 reasons we love Bay’s Holiday Park in Port Stephen’s

  1. Free, great internet
  2. large covered porch
  3. play area for the kids just in the back yard,
  4. great pool
  5. We feel like we could move in.

Did I mention that they even have outdoor bowling and a large ring toss we all enjoyed together.

Cabin 3 is best with kids.

Bay Holiday Park is situated right in the middle of all the towns and is a 5 minute drive to any of the beaches and shopping.  Despite what they advertise, I didn’t see any Koala’s in the trees though.

Layla has been the best these last 3 days.  We even went shopping for a new swim suit last night and for the first time in a long time I could see the woman she’s going to become.

It’s poring now but the large porch allows me to stay outside and dry.

Stephen finally was able to buy a surf board and has surfed all three days. It was quite a challenge fixing it on top of our rental car but I think we’ve got it now without buzzing down the freeway.

Oh I don’t want to go and I want someone else to plan this trip for us.

I told Layla last night I feel like we don’t spend time together like we should. All our energy is put into where we are going next and what we’re going to do for the day.

Hopefully we’ll figure it out in the next 2 days.

Both Stephen and I were able to take turns driving into Nelson’s Bay to watch The Hunger Games. It felt nice to do something “normal.”

This whole area is so beautiful and divided up around a few different towns.

Port Stephen’s is not the town itself but is made up of Salamander Bay,  Anna’s Bay,  Nelson’s Bay, Shoals Bay, and a few others.

Surfing beaches that Stephen liked were One Mile beach and Booi Booi as well as Stockton Beach.   We skipped the Camel rides and the sand dune sleds but did make it to the beach with the kids.

They enjoyed climbing over the rocks and then exploring the tide pools at low tide.

I finally picked up some cheap boogie boards at Kmart last night so hopefully the rain will stop and we’ll be able to use them at our next stop.

That was way too easy!

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Thailand Visa Extensions for Families?

Have you reached the end of your free 30 day visa on arrival in Thailand and you need just a little more time?

Does the thought of a visa run to Malaysia with 2 tired children, a nagging husband, luggage and a round trip ticket right back to where you started sound ridiculous?

Great news, getting a 30 day visa extension in Thailand is really simple, and when traveling with kids, is a much better option.

What do you need to get a 30 day visa extension in Thailand?

  1. 1 copy of your passport.
  2. 1 copy of exit stamped page with exit card (you get this stapled to your passport on first arrival).
  3. Address and phone number of the hotel you are staying at (We brought the receipt of our hotel payment).
  4. 1900 Thai Bat per person.
  5. And here is the kicker …. Wait for it….. All kids under 15 are FREE!

That’s it!

  • No papers to fill out once your are there.
  • No proof of bank statements.
  • No extra cash.

I will say it again just in case you didn’t get it the first time, kids under 15 qualify for a free 30 day Thailand visa extension!  They will not need any of the above documents and won’t need to have their passports stamped. In fact, you won’t even need to bring their passports (although we did).

We extended our Thai visa in Krabi. The immigration office is 5 km outside of Krabi town and you can get there simply by renting a couple mopeds and taking a short 15 minute drive to the office.

getting a thailand visa extension krabi 2

Krabi Immigration Office for Visa Extensions

They even have a children’s play area to keep your kids happily entertained. The entire process took less than an hour (take that DMV!)

Are you still thinking of taking a visa run?

At $115 for a hassle-free 30 day extension for our entire family – To me, this is a no-brainer and it sure beat our Bali visa experience.

Krabi Immigration office for Visa Extensions

Krabi Immigration office (Google Maps)
Sai Thai, Mueang Krabi District, Krabi
The office is closed for lunch from 12-1 pm daily

Feeding Lorikeet on Pretty Beach

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Pretty Beach Australia

Oh, where are my kangaroo’s this morning?

They were like lazy deer for the last 3 days and  now they are all gone?  It’s so cute to see the babies in the mom’s pouches.

Pretty Beach Kangaroo Australia

You’ll see a kangaroo with some extra feet and a tail hanging out and know one is in there.  How to they breath in there?

We were able to get up close enough to see the baby joeys snout just peeking out of his mama’s pouch. You really do get within an arm’s reach from them and they don’t seem to mind one bit.

Pretty Beach is just that, Pretty!  The sound of the ocean is in the distance and lounging kangaroo’s outside your cabin remind you at every moment your in Australia.

The kids and I have enjoyed every minute of this place.  Unplugged, no distractions or temptations to begin searching for the next destination beyond what we have in our guidebooks.

Layla did a lot of school work.  What a difference it makes when you just stay 2 nights somewhere. Long walks and natural exploration open up.

Pretty Beach Australia

The birds are awesome here too!

Around 430 PM each evening the Rainbow Lorikeet grace us with their presence and eats right out of our hands.

Lucca’s a real bird lover now and soon we had all sorts of birds gracing our front porch.  Unfortunately the other flying animals have taken a liking to him as well.  He woke up in the middle of the night yesterday and said his back itched.  I scratched it half asleep, put a T-shirt on and hurried him back into bed.  The next morning it was apparent the mosquitoes had gotten the best of him.

 

 

I’ve come to really appreciate birds on this trip.   The ordinary becomes the extraordinary here.

Parrots and Cockatoo in the wild visiting your porch like a duck or pigeon will never get old.   The vibrant green, yellows, orange placed just right on the Rainbow Lorikeet is so beautiful. The Silver-crested Cockatoos soar through the air like seagulls.  At Apollo beach the Crimson Rosella (parrot) are mistaken for the normal seagull.

Black swans and Australian pelicans grace the water inlets along the coast.

I went for a hike yesterday and saw yet another type of large parrot, black  and high up in the tree, it was enjoying eating the local pine cones.  It  was the Yellow-tailed Black-Cockatoo.   Stephen even found an Iguana just walking across a field!

We saw the Australian King-Parrot with the koala’s at Kennet River.  The Welcome Swallow truly welcomed us with it’s royal blue head here.

Stephen took the kids for a hike yesterday and I kept thinking they were close by as I swore I heard them laughing, turns out it was the song of the Laughing Kookaburra.

The Kookaburra  looks like a big King Fisher to me but the sound truly sounded like children’s voices.

We first saw the Australian Magpie at Merimbula.

They are very brazen and remind me of our common black crow but with their human like walk and contrasting white feathers I seem to appreciate them more than a crow.    I wonder if foreigners to America get as excited over deer on their lawns or our Blue Jays or Cardinals?

And then there’s annoying little finch that keeps pecking at all the other birds.  They don’t seem to mind.

The Red Wattlebird is also here.  It took me a little bit to identify because the picture doesn’t seem to do it justice.  It has red skin tags on it’s cheek that waddle like a turkey and a yellow underbelly.

The kangaroo’s are back!  I love how they lean back on their muscular tails like a third foot to move forward, scratch with their claws and the way their arms dangle in front of them is comical.

Post by Stephen Pasquini.

The males are truly powerful looking. This brave one is just staring at me at my front step hoping I’ll feed it.

Finally have an 11 o’clock check out today so time to enjoy Pretty beach campground just a little more.

Next stop Sydney!

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Coffee Bay South Africa and the Wild Coast with Kids

Coffee Bay South Africa

Coffee Bay South Africa - The Wild Coast!

(View on Google Maps Stay at The Coffee shack)

Have you ever arrived in a place and thought to yourself, am I still on planet earth?

Welcome to South Africa’s Wild Coast!

IMG_4563-Edit

It’s hard to describe such a place, lovingly known as Coffee Bay.

But the name fits: Like coffee, it is both sour and sweet, incredibly enjoyable to sip, but best when served in the morning and definitely not too close to bedtime.

The drive from highway N2 down Main street 1.5 hours to Coffee Bay was a nail-biting, adrenaline filled adventure.

We dodged goats, cattle, large horned bull, sheep, people and pot holes.

This was made worse by large, randomly placed speed bumps which didn’t make any sense whatsoever.  It would make a great course for the Indie 500.

The landscape was dry and spotted with circular mud huts painted in bright turquoise, red and brown.

People could be seen traversing the long seemingly endless hillsides from one sparsely populated location to the next.

What do people do out here?  One thing is for certain, they walk!

We drove into town if you can call it that.  Just a dead end with a few traditional homes on a hillside.

We had already pre-booked our hostel but for good measure we stopped our car and poked our heads into the “nice hotel”.  As usual they quoted us an exorbitant price, which would make us feel better about where we were staying.

Where to stay in Coffee Bay with Kids

“The Coffee shack” as it is known, was over the bridge and at the end of the road, located on the edge of the river mouth.

We were greeted by a friendly local host and she showed us around. The place had a friendly “hippie” vibe and the kids were happy.

The walking paths were made out of native stone and the outdoor eating area had long log tables. There was a fire pit and a large irregular table under a thatched roof porch.

We were all given a complimentary drink from the bar.

The bathroom sinks and showers were made out of the local rock and the basins were hundred-year-old grinding stones worn down so thin that a hole developed and they made them into the sink basins.

Our room was across the river from the main facilities, all the way up a very steep hill. It was appropriately named “Kings Castle“. Great view!

The owners dog took the kids and Stephen for a walk up the hill and across to the beach.   I walked around touring the hostel/campground.   It’s such an eerie place when no one is around.  I guess the town would be livelier in the summer?

We only stayed one night.  I felt stuck in a time warp somewhere between the need to be part of the future but stuck in the past with no indication that the place would ever catch up.

I also felt sad for the day the big money does discover this area.  I guess I felt at odds with myself wanting that, and not wanting that, at the same time.

Although we had a very short stay, the free dinner, awesome view, fun-loving atmosphere, friendly dog and sheets, made it a great stop.

I would like to go back again in 20 years, just to see if anything has changed.

And yes, I think I would go back to the Coffee Sack and ask for the Kings Castle.

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Hluhluwe-iMolozi Park

View Google Map stay in St. Lucia

*Insiders tip: Hluhluwe-iMolozi is Malaria free and very well priced which makes it a better option than Kruger for families with small children (in my opinion).

Today we took our long-awaited safari ride through Hluhluwe-iMolozi Park

If you don’t want the locals to give you a funny face, this is pronounced Schlew Schlewi. 

Although you can self drive the game park we chose Heritage Tours which was well worth the reasonable price (when compared to other options).

We stayed in the amazingly kid friendly St. Lucia at a reasonably priced self catering cottage called Stokkiesdraai.  There may be more impressive places to stay in St. Lucia, but when you look at the cost, location and size of the units, it was really hard to beat.

The Hluhluwe-iMolozi Game Park Safari with Heritage Tours

Hluhluwe-iMolozi Park Heritage Tours with Kids

The morning started early and we got our times mixed up but we were headed off to the park by 6AM.  Usually the safari starts out at 5 AM, it is a 1 hour ride to the park and this allows for the best viewing of the large cats: Tigers and Leopards.

We were the only ones on the safari drive which was wonderful because the kids could have full range of the tall truck and their attention span was able to be catered to as well as their stomachs and bathroom rights.

We were lucky because our guide John said they are busy year round going out everyday.  It just so happens the first two weeks of September is the low time for St Lucia.

We didn’t see any cats, not sure if this is because we lost that 1st hour in the morning or as John said sometimes as a cold front moves in the cats tend to not show up; just something he has noticed.

We did see their paw prints though as well as plenty of giraffe, white rhinos, wart hogs, impalas, Kudu, Zebras, hawks,  bumble bee eating bird, Eland (type of antelope; not related to deer), one elderly buffalo lying on the bank of the river and our last great encounter was three large male Elephants.

We and another truck had the pleasure of watching them pass through us as they walked down to the river bed.  Each on looked directly at us and flared their giant ears to show us who was boss.

The elephants at this park as to opposed to Addo Elephant Park are known to be much more aggressive so we kept our distance.  WildCrats  (a popular American animal show for kids) came in handy again and the kids were able to tell us all about the symbiotic relationship with the birds ( that sat on the backs of all the animals.

The White Rhino

IMG_4620-2Hluhluwe-iMfolozi Park is most famous for their conservation efforts to bring back the black and white rhinos.

Every year thousands are poached for their large horn which can be worth well over $900,000 US.  John said if nothing was done about the demand for the horns themselves that they could go extinct in less than 20 years.

We had the honor of seeing these animals up close and they are so ancient looking and really defenseless against poachers.  They have very poor eyesight and this makes it easy for poachers to sneak up on them when the wind is just right.   The rangers are almost helpless in stopping this from happening.   They are unable to cover such a vast area of the parks and even if they do come upon them they are unable to fire unless fired upon.  John says they are becoming even more brazen and will come in during the day.

Choosing a Safari that is Good For Kids

We opted for the half day safari option which cost $278 for 2 adults and 2 children.

The half day safari was plenty.   The seating consisted of padded bench seats in the back of a pick-up designed to have upper viewing and the hood of the truck was cut out so our driver could communicate with us easily.  He was so knowledgeable and the roads are so laden with pot holes, and dirt roads, not to mention poor signage in the park.

Well worth the money to not go through the park in your own vehicle.

Enjoying the sun roof
Kids are happy
Elephants of Hluhluwe-iMolozi
A different tour company
Park entrance
Enjoying the ride
Giraffes in Hluhluwe-iMolozi
Hluhluwe-iMolozi after the controlled burn

If you’re debating between going to a private game reserve or visiting one of the smaller private game parks, you’ll have to weigh your options. 

If you want a guaranteed chance of seeing all of the big five,  a private game park such as Schotia Safari’s near The Addo Elephant Park will be your best bet.

If you want to see how the animals truly interact in a large ecosystem which is much less “touristy” then visit one of the larger game parks and take a multi-day walking safari. Keep in mind, this is not an option with small kids below the age of 12.

If you do choose to see the big five in a private game reserve,  my feeling now is don’t feel like this is unnatural.  All of South Africa’s big five are fenced in.   There is no such thing as a true African wildlife safari that we may have dreamed of as little children.  Humans have now overtaking their environment, yes, all of it.

The landscape was all control burned.   They do this every year in the spring before the summer rains.   This mimics the natural occurring fires.  The fire takes down all the brown vegetation and allows the green new vegetation/grasses to sprout again.  Only the green grasses provide enough protein for the animals.

Before the park was formed, naturally the animals would roam from one area to the next seeking out these green grasses. They are now in a 7 year drought and all the rivers are very low.

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Packing for the Gap: 14 Warning Signs You Have too Much Junk!

Have ever felt that you just have too much “stuff”?

It’s t-minus 11 days and we are making the final purge as we empty our home for our one year around the world  family adventure.

You can see what we packed by Clicking Here…

Clearing out our home to make way for 5 college students has been unbelievably frightening,  rewarding and a bit exhausting.

My husband and I have moved many times over our 13 years of marriage.

Seattle → New Jersey → Central California → Santa Cruz where we have now been for 7 years.

This has been the longest time we have spent in one place and also enough time to accumulate a lot of extra “stuff”.

Here are 14 warning signs you have too much junk and why hitting the road may be one of the best things you will do for yourself and your family.

  1. You finally find that highlighter pen and about 20 of its cousins.
  2. You realize you haven’t flossed as much as you should because you find 20 packages of floss.
  3. You find 20 mismatched socks for each person in the household.
  4. You find the 20 boxes of crayons you bought when your daughter was one because they were on sale but you forgot about them and then continue to buy new ones over the next 6 years.
  5. You find 20+ coloring books with one page colored in them but now your kids refuse to use them because “they’re old Mommy”.
  6. You find literally 100 pens/pencils you swore you’d never bring into your house because you never used up the 100 pens from the last move.
  7. You finally see the cobwebs in the corners and it suddenly grosses you out.
  8. You realize how dusty your curtains and blinds are and wished you had broken down and actually hired that cleaning lady at least twice a year.
  9. You look in your husbands den and really wonder what he does with all those computer parts and wires.
  10. You finally find a hair band and 30 of its cousins and swear next time you’ll keep them in one place.
  11. You find about five Costco sized mouth washes your husband insisted you buy because he was out. (This used to be the shaving cream, but we figured this one out the last time we moved.)
  12. You find to random “thingamajigs” that you kept because you swore you’d find it’s mate, but you forgot what it was but you decide to pack it up “just in case” you figure it out one day.
  13. You finally find the five combs/brushes you’ve misplaced over the years and wonder “should I really pack this up or just throw it away?” You’ll be happy to know I threw them away!
  14. Your recycling bin is overflowing from all the paper, and empty boxes, and plastic “things” you kept for that rainy day project for the kids. (We’ve been in a drought for 2 years now!)

Bottom Line:

We should all at least pretend to move every 2-3 years just so we can clean the corners and purge unwanted stuff.

Our First Time Hosting on Couch Surfing

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Family Couch Surfing

Our first and only experience with Couchsurfing.org was amazing!

I’ve been researching all the different, cheap alternatives to hotels and I came across Couch Surfing.  It sounded great:  Free place to stay, interactions with the locals and did I mention Free!

  • But how would this work with kids?
  • Was this even an option?

Going out as a single traveler or as a couple, this seemed like an obvious choice. Thankfully, the website had some good practical advice and yes, it was possible to do with kids.  It would be a little harder and not as flexibility was still an option.

One of the first pieces of advice was to be a host in your own home before trying it out on the road.  Especially for kids, this would get them used to the idea and make them more comfortable with strangers. I want to teach my kids the ability to meet new and interesting people and go outside their comfort zones.

When we reach out to new things and people our brain explodes with possibilities we never imagined.

“Stranger, Danger”

Here in America, we teach our kids “Stranger, Danger”.   I never liked this very much and it explains a lot about our culture as Americans.  I want my kids to be able to trust their instincts, but when they get into a situation they’ll need to have enough courage and knowledge to get them selves out of it.  If we teach our kids to just avoid every stranger, how can we teach them anything about being a kind and generous person willing to help and meet others?  I want my kids to feel confident with adults and kids.

Signing Up

So, I signed up and was a little apprehensive about letting someone into my home.  After all, “Stranger /Danger” takes on a whole new perspective when you take in a complete stranger into your own home.  Meeting and talking to people in public is one thing, but letting them stay in your home?   That just boarder lined crazy and irresponsible parenting.

If I wanted my kids to go beyond there comfort zone, I had to show them I was willing to try too.   If I couldn’t do it in the comfort of my own home, how were we going to try it ourselves?

Living in Santa Cruz we got many requests off the site. I’m sure we got even fewer since you can create your own profile and as a family of four we may sound less than “ideal” for many travelers. I was very clear that I had two small kids, went to bed early, woke up early and I would be busy with kids routines during the day.   I also let people know what we were doing next year so we could have some travel info exchange. This seemed to attract the “right” people.

Turns out there’s a lot of traveling single women looking for a safe place and the idea of a family away from home sounded “safe” for them too.

Meet Sophia from Germany

Having red hair and a light complexion, I have to admit it helped that she looked like our long-lost cousin.  I lived in Germany for 3 years as a child so I thought this would be fun.  I was determined to ask if Gummies were really pronounced “gooomie” like I remembered.  Turns out I was right!  Couldn’t wait to have a “I told you so” moment with the husband.

Free Truly is The Great Equalizer!

Having her stay for free put less pressure on me to be a host.

Turns out, she didn’t have any expectations about me being a host. My husband wanted to offer our place on AirBNB, but Free is the great equalizer and I really believe “Less is More” and you “get what you give”. I ended up taking her surfing, but the other days she was busy meeting other people and exploring Santa Cruz herself.

I was amazed at how the power of the internet helped her meet up, and get rides around and from city to city.  Talk about trust! To top it off, she was the epitome of ingenuity using resources I never knew were available as a traveler.   It was her first time and mine. We quickly confessed we wouldn’t be telling our mothers.

The Kids Reaction

The kids absolutely loved her!  I was quickly fired from bedtime book reading during her stay.  She had great stories to tell.  She especially had great stories about meeting, trusting and following her gut to get out of sticky situations.   Having someone with an accent and from another country really sparked the travel bug in the kids.   They were sad to see her go and wondered if we’d ever meet again.

Again another lesson in life:  Some people we may meet only once in our lives but they can still have a great and every long-lasting impact.   You never know what connections you’ll make or if you’ll ever see people again in your life time.

Will we do it again?

Since her stay we’ve had many other requests but we’ve just gotten so busy it never seemed like the right time to do it again.  I turned my hosting to “off” status for now, but I do hope we can try to do this on the road.

When we get back I hope to offer our place on occasions so we can wet our appetite for new and interesting like minded travelers. It might buffer the withdrawal a little when we aren’t able to travel.

Who knows? Maybe we’ll meet some people on our travels and be able to we’ll meet them again by opening up our home and hosting for a few nights.

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A Mother’s Intervention to End Her Daughter’s Trip Around the World

The Beginning

It all started Saturday with a vague and eerie message requesting a phone call back.

She wanted uninterrupted quiet time for at least 1 hour.  She even suggested getting a cup of coffee and making sure I was out of the house.

This would need to be a time where I couldn’t use the kids screaming in the background or bad cell phone service as an excuse.

Wow, this was getting serious!

The “Intervention”

My first thought was “Intervention”.

My second thought was I’m 36 and why do I have to justify or explain myself?  Did I mention I’m 36?

She raised a successful daughter in career and relationships and now, now she wants to have a serious talk?  Are you kidding me?  It’s my life and I’ve made good decisions all my life.

I’m still married, have wonderful kids, a home, a career, no tattoos, no weird piercings.  Now my mom thinks we’ve gone off the deep end; acting irresponsibly just because we want to travel for a year with two small kids and quit our jobs.

It’s a good thing she left a message or else in my confused, offended initial reaction I wouldn’t have had kind words.

But, as the day went on thinking about it, I thought differently.

Once a Mom, Always a Mom

I have a Mom and Dad that love me and my family so much that they are seeking the answers to their questions and insecurities.

They don’t want to act selfish so they instead ask the hard questions running through their minds.  I can embrace that the thought of traveling with two small kids and leaving our comfortable world behind us might look crazy to some and look as if we’re “running away” from something.

So I called her back and set up a phone date. (Mom lives in Washington, me in California).

We talked.  I put the conversation in her hands.   I put up rules though.

“I love and respect you, but this is our life, I’m an adult and I’m doing this under my own free will.”

I said this up front because I think the driving force of my Moms insecurities came from me sharing my insecurities over Christmas and she couldn’t grasp how I’d done a 360 on my thoughts.

She asked all the obvious questions my husband and I’ve been working through for the last 3 months:

    • Why?
    • What about the kids’ education?
    • What will you do for money?
    • What will you do for health insurance?
    • What will you do with the house, car, and cat?
    • Where are you going?
    • When are you coming back?
    • What does my daughter’s teacher think? (Super excited by the way.)

And then, with a mothers love, she voiced her narrow minded questions/concerns that stop so many people from traveling:

    • It’s dangerous over there!
    • How will this affect the kids with friends/school when they come back?
    • How are they going to have a since of security?
    • Your husband has done some dumb dangerous things and we’re worried you’ll put your kids in harms way.  (Oh I got a little heated on that one).
    • What if Stephen doesn’t want a 9-5 job when he comes back?
    • My favorite one, “Don’t not come back if you need to just to spite us and prove us all wrong.”

I felt about 16 again.  Really Mom?  Come on.  I’m an adult now. The last thing I’ll be thinking at this point in time is, “what will people think?”

Working out The Details

By the end of the conversation I could tell all her questions weren’t answered. We’re still working on them too.

I made a point to let her know that I respect and love her enough to share my thoughts and feelings, but by no means  was she going to change our minds.  If she wanted to keep the lines of communication open she would have to come to a level of acceptance and start being a positive, supportive force from this point on.

If she could not achieve this; she’d have to commiserate and bounce her negative, worried feelings with someone else. It’s a good thing she has a good relationship with my mother-in-law.  I’m sure they will be talking a lot in the next year.

It is my moms fault I want to do this anyway, she and dad raised a strong woman.  One who is capable of dreaming big dreams and having the tools to pursue them.

Loving Parents

I have great, loving parents who will always be a part of my life and I do value their opinions.

I’ll always need my Mom and Dad even when their gone.  I too some day will question my kids’ decisions in life and hope I can see the value in trusting I’ve raised them well enough to succeed.

I hope they have a sense of adventure, but the best we can hope for our children is for them to be happy.

It’s hard to watch them fall or fail. As parents we have to trust that they learn from their mistakes and are able to brush it off and be stronger for it.  I’d hate to see my kids afraid to fail.  It’s with failures and pushing the limits, we truly can achieve great success.

Mom, I’m truly Happy!  But most of all, Excited!

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Since this conversation I’ve sent my mom and our family multiple links we’ve been using to research and inspire us.  I hope this will ease her anxieties.  My mom’s opinions and concerns have been echoed from many family members.  I get it.  They love us, worry about us and most of all: will miss us. Surprisingly friends and strangers are only excited and interested.  Many have voiced their desire to do the same thing.

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Developing Our RTW Family Travel Creed – Rules of The Open Road

Family RTW Mission Statement

Just as organizations and businesses need a mission statement, families also need rules to live by.

This is even more important on the road.

Kids and adults need structure, something to remind us what our goals are as a family.

It’s true that “when the going gets tough the tough get going”, but we don’t want the tough to decide its time to get going home.

This is our first draft, months before our trip.

We sat down at dinner tonight and came up with these, they will probably change over time.

1. Pasquini Positive Perspective: (The 3 P’s)

This is a willingness to always look at the positive in a seemly negative situation at all times. Yes, we can complain and be upset about something, but we will always strive to get over it by practicing and searching for at least one positive view-point or outcome to the situation. (Stephen wanted to just say “No Complaining”. But who are we kidding? You can only fight against human nature; not ignore it completely especially with children. It is their God-given right to complain and find every little thing in the world that is unfair.)

2. We are a Team and are each others allies:

This is the mindset that we can do anything if we have each other and work together. We’ll have each others back and protect each other.

3. We will have empathy and compassion for others:

We will search to understand other cultures in a loving way and show kindness to each other.

4. If you make a mistake your Brain Grows:

This is my daughter’s favorite and is a new way of saying we learn from our mistakes. We will not be afraid of doing something wrong and we won’t shy away from something in fear of failure.

5. Let it go:

We will accept that some things are just the way things are and we have to let it go so we don’t carry around guilt, anger, resentment, or sadness. Forgiveness is a powerful tool and accepts the things we can’t change.

6. Cultural awareness:

We will enter countries and cultures armed with at least 10 words in their language (still figuring out which words)

  1. Hello
  2. Thank you
  3. My name is
  4. Sorry.

We will always be courteous and aware that we are visitors in their country and our norms may be different than theirs. This does not make it wrong or right as that is up to the society and culture to own for themselves. We will strive to understand and appreciate all differences.